It only hurts when you name it.
We never acknowledged its presence and hence it infected us till the roots were strong enough to cripple the world itself.
Abuse; it’s funny how the love of or from people that matter the most and care the most somehow result in such absurdity sometimes. I was loved beyond a child my age could dream of, my dreams were fulfilled before I even spoke, privileged? Definitely. But even that comes at a cost. I had to pay for it with my soul, my sanity.
Shouting and screaming was usual, so usual that the volume of an average conversation was tuned up to 10 times at my home. It’s never scary if you grow up seeing it, I never thought it was wrong until I saw what it did to me, my siblings, my personality. Until it was too late.
Independence at home was proportional to winters in Canada, zero wasn’t the minimum. Authoritative only barely described the leadership at home, oh but it wasn’t all bad. Never all bad. So many gatherings at my house when the laughter echoed through the walls, so many lives aided and supported by my dear grandfather and then my parents. I’ve seen them give away so much of them, I’ve also seen people greedily take away parts so big that vacated our lives. All without gratitude, appreciation was a concept lost apparently.
They say, If I saw it as a child it should seem okay by now, but I’m sorry it doesn’t. You don’t get ‘used to’ of abuse, you just can’t be content in a life that shouts dissatisfaction from the very core. My friends assume I’d do better than them in an abusive situation because of the background that I come from, so easily they regard themselves as less compromising, how dare they?
I wish people would stop abusing others, I wish we’d mind our own businesses, I wish that souls had more glue so they wouldn’t dissipate so easily. Why has the Earth become so hostile? If I stop and count the abuse around me in a day I’d need to lay out my intestines to have enough ounces to count against.
What went wrong you ask, why are we mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually abused so very regularly? Because we feed fear instead of values. Abuse has become our everyday, and sadly, we relish in it.