Don’t get Harassed.

Seriously, what special kind of a fool are you?

I hear people suggesting to ‘Move on’ ‘Learn to Ignore’ ‘I’m sorry’ on most of the harassment matters, funny how I’ve never heard the same comment passed for those robbed, mugged, killed, tell me, when was the last time you requested of the victim to be careful not to get robbed or killed. Just what I thought.

The hate we have for those who steal, break, kill, rape, varies on the extent of their crimes, it’s funny how Harassment is only considered ‘unethical’ and not ‘illegal’ save for some places, many of which account it as merely a document and less than an active practice.

I’m done trying to not be harassed. Educate your children better, specially your sons, teach them better, make them better. Please. Because when you don’t they raise up to become offenders of the worst kind, how is it worse you ask? Because unlike criminals they hardly get penalized, hardly learn from their mistakes, hardly given a chance at correction, because unfortunately, most of the offenders don’t even realize their major offense towards those harassed, unfortunately, again, its women.

I’m not okay with men being harassed either, not at the least, but within my social circle and online community, I’ve never come across a case where a man was harassed and then offended, also I’m not a man so I’d leave their fight to them. Today, I’m speaking for women, all women, of race, ethnicity and gender without borders and boundaries. I don’t ask you why? I don’t expect an answer or a reason, I urge you to stop! Stop the behavior and habit of publicly or privately being unkind to women, anywhere, anytime, anyone.

If you’re unsure of what counts as harassment, its saying anything to a stranger you wouldn’t say to your mom or your sister. Even when you want to flirt, it can be done ethically, restricting yourself to a manner that is respectful, kind, and compassionate. Don’t ever make her feel like an object, but that’s what you do, all those pickup lines out there, personifying women as some sort of object to enjoy is offensive too and throwing it to her at the most inappropriate of places at the most inconvenient of times, you must be seriously deranged. But no, you’re an average boy too smart for your own good, you feel its funny sometimes to comment on a girl like that, you think its daring to be able to sing a useless line to her, or whatever else goes on in your pea sized brain, its not. It’s not daring, smart, or funny. Not at the least. So please, stop.

I wouldn’t tell you how to approach someone you like, but I’m sure of one thing, you possibly can’t be in love with a stranger in a day so never ‘confess’ it to her in a day either, and never comment on her body and expect her to respect you in return, even when complimented, she’d never take you seriously if that’s what’s on your mind.

I wish people would stop commenting on girls to be careful and act better and start educating men around them, of all age, of all kind. There is no man too young, just like you put it ‘ there isn’t a girl too careful’. Although the latter seems to boil off my nerves, but I’d let it slide by just as most of you would request me to.

Before I end my post, this isn’t a rant, it’s not just some topic I chose to babble about today, it’s a matter we need to address every single day in a hope that it would reach the right people and save if not all, at least one victim from the humiliation.

I’ve been harassed online, in a game and on social media, on places where the only info displayed was my sex: female, what do I take from that?

I’ve been harassed offline, in hospitals and schools, at malls when with family, what kind of protection do you expect me to have in an educating institute or when with my father?  Don’t suggest me ways to be careful, don’t dare say to another woman that it’s somehow her fault she got harassed, if that’s what you feel, I’m sorry you lack soul and dignity but I’m also glad, because only one who haven’t been harassed can go around saying that, expecting that.

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9 thoughts on “Don’t get Harassed.

  1. I agree 100%.

    As a male I know how many people make stupid pointless comments directed straight towards woman and I have to constantly make an effort to stop them in their tracks by changing topic or by telling them something opposite so they’d be embarrassed at their stereotypical comment or behaviour.

    It’s never the fault of women, I am from that team but there is HUGE load of people (men and women alike) who believe that many of the indecent acts of inhumanely behaviour shown towards woman is their fault, how they talk, dress and talk. It’s sad but it’s reality.

    I HATE it when they do, when people blame a woman for her rape, sane educated people – of course after making such a statement they don’t remain sane but still. Even my father was one day like this happens because they dress inappropriately but I was like why can’t we say that the men involved are animals and should be put in shackles instead of us blaming a lady.

    There was a really amazing tweet that I tried to retweet it goes something like this:

    ‘ If your _____ reacts after watching a glimpse of a woman’s skin then you are not a human but a Pig ‘.

    I’m sure we all will agree that it’s better to punish the Pig then go pointing at women telling them their faults.

    I think this is going too long so I should end it here.

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  2. how I can get this right?
    ‘Even when you want to flirt, it can be done ethically, restricting yourself to a manner that is respectful, kind, and compassionate.’

    can you please explain me the Islamicly correct way of flirting. thats like the islamicly correct way of stealing. You are okay with flirting as long it is ‘respectful and kind and compassionate. Ayuzubillah. yani if shaytan has teached a clever guy about talking nice to a woman then the way of zina is acceptable or what? flirting is haram, even a Men is telling the truth, even a men is speaking about religion with the intention of flirting is haram. or is it okay if his and her intention is marriage? ayuzbillah. who ever search for marriage threw flirting is searching a flirty men or woman in the way of zina. this is not making sense and he/she should ask him/herself why he wants a partner who is able and willing to such thinks and has no haja to prevent him/her. If he/she is open for your nice flirt, he/she will be open for others too. we are living in the time before youm al qiyamah. the people like sins, as long as the cover is nice and charming.

    Maybe I got you wrong or maybe you did not realized what you wrote. But anyhow I have to make clear that this is wrong, whether you think it or not.

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    • Ethical and religious aren’t the same thing. No where here I’m preaching Islam but reaching out to all people. A lot of my readers and followers aren’t Muslims so protesting against harassment because its haraam isn’t going to apply to them.
      Also, I believe you don’t understand the meaning of ‘Harassment’ it doesn’t need to be sexual, it could be anything as simple as being too close to another person while talking to them.
      When I talk about flirtation, I don’t believe it’s same as talking about sex to another gender, you really need to understand the other before going all scholar on them.
      I’m a Muslim, yes, and while nothing on my blog goes against my religion, I don’t post much of religious content, if you’re going to take everything that way, you’re probably going to be very much annoyed and furious because for someone who think Islam is all about violence and oppressing women, I’m sorry but I prefer not even starting up an argument.

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      • I never said that Islam is all about violence and oppressing woman. but okay I am used to that people are trying to make the other look extreme if they dont have arguments. sexual or not, men should not do haressment and women should take care of them. and sexual or not women should not flirt with men and men not with women, if they have to talk like we do now, because you are posting something in connection about religion without having knowledge, then both should concetrate on the matter. If they have other flirty intentions even they are not directly sexual they are wrong and the talk is haram. If you say your statement has nothing to do with Islam, please read it again, you tell us who to educate our children this is okay if you do it in a correct islamic way, but to simply post your ideas not thinking about they are islamicly correct or not or even thinking the own idea would be always islamicly correct is what most poeple do but it is stil wrong.

        ethics and religion are not the same and noware you where preaching Islam? But you call your self a Muslim? A muslim who is not preaching Islam is a strange think. All Muslims have to preach Islam otherwise there have big problems in their Religion. I agree yes, not everyone is a scholar and can speak about everything. But everyone has to preach Islam even with a singel Ayat.

        Ethics are not the same as religion. what does that tells me? The difference between Ethics and Religion is Religion is believing that God is a real existing thing, even they might differ in the way of understanding of this God. Ethics dont has do belief that, but in fact they also have their ‘gods’ their non seen principles. The dont belief that this principels realy exist but they are simple using them because they are helpfull and we realy do belief that god exists. But in the end this diffrence doens matter a lot. because in the end not religios people have religios beliefs when they try to prove their ethics… Ethics is based upon not proven belief same as religion. moral always need not proven principles. If I belief in God or in the Digity of Mankind it is both spiritual and in that perspective religious.

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      • Your words state that, I wouldn’t argue just for the sake of arguing. I’m seriously worried about the thoughts you plant in your head.
        I didn’t post this on religion, you assumed it to be which is so wrong just btw. I again do not understand what you wrote there about educating children because your English is confusing ( which makes me wonder if you take all of this wrong because you simply don’t understand it) anyway, all your arguments are pointless.
        I don’t know whether to be mad about it or laugh it off. Ethics are general morals, the idea of doing good and better. Religious ethics are different than social ethics and very personal to each individual.
        Preaching Islam is a right of every Muslim and always encouraged of us, but I won’t dare preach where I’m a student myself, unlike you I wouldn’t just blab about things.
        This post is about harassment, and whether one is a believer or not, one should respect the other women and men. Flirtation isn’t unethical in anyway, but religiously its wrong, while I wouldn’t appreciate another man or women flirting with me, my christian friend wouldn’t mind and I wouldn’t force her to dislike it for my beliefs, I need to base my preaching on a context where she understands. By forbidding her from doing so, I’m only soiling negativity in her heart for my religion.
        You don’t teach university level coding to a second grader, he doesn’t understand and would hate studying, you teach them letters, words and then gradually you grow. Religion is very similar, if I stand on the street chanting to kill and murder and call war against all who sin I wouldn’t inspire anyone, but if I chant to respect and help and unite against evil I might get a follower or two.
        Islam is very beautiful religion with a complete way of life, the sides of Islam that you talk about, killing and war and beating, they’re only under certain circumstances, even in those circumstances you’re not FORCED but ALLOWED to use those methods.
        When you talk about Islam next time on such a wide platform, try highlighting the aspects which are encouraging, never hide or conceal the truth or even sugar coat it but part of preaching is to make the other listen and if you have the attitude you have now, I’m sorry but I doubt even if your own children would follow.
        if my Prophet ( SAWS) went after everyone with a knife in hand to follow or die, who would be behind him? would people love him like we do now? would we respect him the way we do?
        He’s the example of a person we all should try to be, and his preaching was definitely nothing close to what you prefer and spread.
        Tell people the good, tell them the bright, invite them, educate them, make them learn, when they do, they would understand the bad, the dangerous, and all the ‘violence’ and war you want to talk about.

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  3. as for women beeing haressed. of corse the socity should punish and prevent men from doing so. and they should have raira to all women. they should be like the sahaba who killed a jew because he haressed and dishoner a mulima. I know you dont like violence but this criminal got what he deserved and even the way it happend was not the best way, the strict reaction was right. and we should be strict like this. No we should not kill all men in puplic bus if we see them. but we should stand up. yes but I dont see why this should be in contradiction to call our woman and girls to cover their selves right and to take care of themselves and to be carefull. if they are not, then yes they have made themselves a bit quilty. Of corse the men is more quilty. But it is fact in Islam if you for example dont close your door, and then a Thief is entering it is his AND your fault. Of corse he will be punished but you will be told to close the door. Thats islamic logic. and its right. So we should call our girls to cover up and be carefull AND we should stand up against the men. Islam is the middle way. not the extrem way of the kuffar, where Women are sitting naked in a train next to strenger without any other people. and then she is complaining. The men did wrong yes and should be punished, but the woman was simply stupid.

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    • Every Muslim women needs to be covered in public, its her obligation and her faith but even if one decides not to being a non-Muslim and sits naked next to people, no one has the right to harass her to beyond. It’s wrong and still is the the offender’s fault not the women who sat cloth less because if your theory is taken into account then all my sins are half my fault and half of God أَعُوْذُ بِالله because He put us in this world with shaytaan where shaytaan tempts us to do a lot of bad things. According to your theory where women are at fault for not covering themselves up when men harasses them, then everyone in this world is only half guilty for their sins because half of it is always someone else’s fault.

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      • alhamdulillah we agree that women need to cover up. but why you think that if we advise a women not to sit half naked next to other men if they dont want to be touched or haressed. This is an advise this i hikma. it is not from the hikma to put yourself half naked next to men. hikma meens to put thinks into the right place. and thats not the place of a half naked women. And yes she is guilty because as you said it is here duty to cover up. So she is responible for that sin and if that sin is leading other to do other sins, she also responsible for the other sins. like the person who is offensive is responsible for the others to react offensively. So she did a sin and this sin was a fitna for others. Thats why not cover one-selves is a bigger sin then drinking alkohol, because it is a much grater fitna for all the people who see the person. for men AND women. But as I said a thousand times the men is still quilty of he cant resist the fitna. In fact if cant control himself he has to leave before losing control.

        This prinicple does not mean that God would be to blame for our sins, he his the creator of our sins, and yes he created us like that, but we are doing the action even if he is the creator of theese actions. Can we say he made fitna to us, so he is to blame? No because God is not creation and God, Allah is doing what ever Allah wants. God is not beeing tested, his will is not between good and bad, his decisions are always perfect and not to blame. why? because he is Allah and not his creation. Because he is al hakim al alim. He knows what he is doing and why he is doing and why his not not doing something. So is Allah creating fitna for us? yes but is he to blame as we are? No because he knows why is doing that and he is not being tastet and not to blame. We are tasted, and we have to understand that we dont know what is right and was wrong expect our lord explained is to us. So if Our lord is creating fitna for us and in the same time telling us, not to fall into it, we need to give our trust in our lord, that he knows best. But if we think, that the Fact that God is creating fitna for us would be an excuse for us to make fitna for others is wrong, because we are not God and have not the same rights!

        I hope you dont get me wrong and it sound for your arrogant. But I realy know what I am talking about I Studied Islam for many years in islamic countries and I am still doing. So Stop fighting against the correct knowledge and take profite from it. We all need that, I am also need people explaining me thinks. The most important think is that we want to understand the truth for the face of our Lord. In Paradise Allah will be seen, really seen and he will laugh with us inshaAllah if we are from them. So if we want to from them, from ahlul cennah we should learn about the path towards it. always anyhow anywhere.

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