Last night we had guests over and it was a good evening, good until I decided to not hide in my room and join the female guests in the dining area. The conversations escalated quickly, I was asked about my life and gleefully I shared how the company I worked for and left called me back and gave me a raise, how I’m working at a managerial position that I could’ve only dreamed about at the age of 24, that, despite the hard laws and economic distress I feel lucky to be blessed with such an opportunity, well I would’ve shared if it wasn’t for the comment after just about two words from my mouth.
“Oh that is good, it would fix your routine and you wouldn’t gain more weight. But do take two months off before the wedding to work on yourself” goes beyond saying they meant work on me physically, get rid of dark circles, have a glowy skin and shit.
I possibly couldn’t have seen it coming and she caught me completely off guard. I didn’t have an answer to that, couldn’t have an answer to that, it wasn’t even a question.
Its not the first time I’ve been commented on my appearance, I can’t help but wonder if it was her son that was appointed as a Manager at such a young age in such a reputed company, if it were just any other guy who secured a good position while majority of the companies in the country sacked out experienced and old employees, I wonder how she or any other female in the room would’ve reacted on that. I’m pretty sure they would’ve been thrilled and congratulated the mother on having such a honhaar (talented) son.
I don’t want to talk about my condition here, let us assume that I’m fat because of my own actions, even then it is beyond me how it gets prioritized over the rest. Is it because of your lack of ability to be happy for another? especially when it’s a SHE? Or the habit to avoid professional achievements of a girl?
This comment only shows how my career doesn’t matter to you as I’m a female, I don’t think I’ll be able to move past it again. I would never compare myself to your daughter, or anyone else for that matter, never until today. Because I want to ask the world if being a makeup artist, being a vlogger, being adept at cleaning and cooking or just being ridiculously pretty is any better than being a Manager in a renowned organization? Because from where I come from, all those things you ask of me don’t make me great, don’t earn me money, don’t help me share the burden of my father, don’t pay my bills, don’t make me equal to men of my age, don’t even help me be a better Muslim or a better person, it only makes me a girl, nothing beyond, nothing more, and how foolishly worthless that is.
Sorry if this offended you in any way, I’m not against any girls that choose to be one of those, because that’s who they are, that’s what they choose to do, but what about the ones that have a heart of a unicorn? The ones that prefer reading over dressing up, prefer writing over music, prefer office over a kitchen, profession over love, isolation over solidarity, learning over makeup, games over gossips!
Why are they unacceptable? Why are they deemed ‘wrong’? Why are they so alien to you?
I’m genuinely looking for an answer. Till then, Powerpoint Over Weighing Scale!