From Beans to Bags.

Them: Would you like some tea?
Me: I’m more of a Coffee person.

I’ve been hooked on caffeine ever since I learned that I’m a girl and can’t roam around shirtless like a guy. Nescafe was my Jukebox (CD Player, mp3 or whatever you lot listen to your music on), my run to after every achievement, embarrassment, victory, and loss. I grew up oblivious to the fact that I was nurturing an addiction, a bad one at that, and well long story short by the age 20 I would sneak into my secret stash of beans ( that sometimes costed me more than a week’s food, makeup, clothes and medicine combined) past midnight and chew a fist full for as long as my mouth allowed. This was at worst, at the least I’d sniff or have a spoon full of ground coffee, I added water at times just to make it last longer or to look sane to others :p My friends and family were well aware and didn’t seem to mind until it depleted the iron in my blood. Caffeine then became even more attractive with its ‘you can’t have it’ charm.

My relationship with caffeine went from cuddly to complicated, winter nights became harder and pages became lengthier. My diet missed the extra buzz, my mind did too, the on and off went on for a year till I woke up one day to find no hidden stash, no beans or sachets, and no cravings but a lingering longing. A lot changed with my beverage preference, my attitude, and stamina, my hobbies and interests, my family and friends when I switched from coffee beans to tea bags.

I never thought a day would come where I’ll part with coffee, my days started and ended with a huge mug full of onyx black liquid, the taste and scent soothed my insides and my fingers around the mug calmed the awkward intervals during conversations. I’ve spent more time at Starbucks than any other place in the world, mostly alone while sometimes with friends, I’ve had more than usual coffee discussions and have spent hours in searching and learning the perfect blends. I don’t remember the instant my taste buds moved on but I remember the moment I had rid my body of the addiction.

Back in 2012 life went south somehow and took along my mental and physical stability, health declining and relationships disturbing, I knew amendments were in order. By the end of 2015 I was well aware of the drawbacks and initiated cleansing, I realized much more during that time and the process of cleansing was not limited to just my body. I saw the world around me change, I cut loose ties with people not worth the effort, strengthened the rest, moved on from memories that weren’t worthwhile to reminisce and built better ones, my kindness limited to those who asked for it and politeness directed to those who cared, cleaned up the clutter. I made a lot of decisions that time and two years later I’m only glad I did.

My drinks have more colors in it, more taste and more variety just like my life. It’s not strong smelling and tasting rather fresh and light. I didn’t give up a habit but a part of me away, with it went all that was foul and dark. I used to laugh at aromatic tea bags a few years ago, today I find myself drooling over flavored and scented tea in every supermarket’s aisle.

Small choices matter the most, one decision of cutting out an unhealthy drink changed my perspective towards life, compelled myself to cut back all that’s not good. Although I won’t be getting an award on my health anytime soon, I do feel emotionally and physically healthy than I used to.


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